My Lesson at Chili's

Another long day...

Well today I heard two people today mention how they've heard about my blog. I guess people find out fast (I did put it in my profile). The only weird thing is now I know people have seen it, so its almost like I have to be careful what I say. Haha, I guess this is totally contradictory to my reasons to create a blog in the first place. Oh well, I guess I'll get more comfortable as time goes on... not like I have anybody real to talk to anymore. (Insert small violin here)

Another thing that struck me as being funny is how someone mentioned that I was real tight with God because I said I talk to Him. I never really thought about it too much I guess. I think I've always taken the gift of prayer for granted. I've grown up hearing things like "well, if you have a problem, just ask God to help you." Although that seems like a "sunday school" answer to life's problems, I know for a fact that God listens when we sincerely pray to Him. I suppose that I've totally overlooked one of the best gifts I've ever been given: I can go to God in prayer and He will listen to me, the guy who cant seem to get his life in order.

Now that I think about it, that totally blows me away. I have no right to approach the Maker of the Universe regardless of how "good" I've been. Oh yeah, by the way, I feel so far away from Him right now. Situations in life have sucked, but my attitudes and actions towards everything have just made it all worse and I have no one to blame but myself.

....Anyways. It is such a great thing to be able to talk to God even when I have screwed up royally and haven't listened to Him. God blows me away with the concept of "grace." I come to Him every day with something new that I've messed up on, and for some reason I feel part of that grace. I don't know what makes me feel that way. Its not that feeling of "sweet, I can do whatever because God will always take me back." Its more of a feeling that God is willing to work with me as long as I am willing to put aside what I want and start to follow His plans for me. I guess that feeling is the only reason why I haven't given up and just lived how ever I felt would be fun. I know He's saying to me "I'll be waiting right here whenever you're ready to give up living on your own."

That just reminds me of the verse "How great the Father's love He has lavished on us all, that we should be called children of God!" Nothing can separate us from the love of God, and for that reason alone, I owe Him my life.

So thanks a lot to Monique and Cassandra for reminding me of that gift I had forgotten about so long ago.

(All names have been changed to protect the innocent).