Take It All

With all the recent bank account activity that I have had between bills, down payments on a car, and other transactions, I have found myself checking my balance frequently. After each major withdrawal that occurs I do the math of "this much left for the rest of the month." With a monthly pay cycle I have here at Meditech, I am continuously looking to the next month to replenish my supply of cash and feel comfortable again.

I am now realizing how harmful this way of thinking can be. I have been looking forward to summer for such a long time now and all of a sudden I am counting down the days till June is over. Before I know it, I will have anticipated the summer away and the leaves will be falling again. I do need to be conscious of the money I have to cover the rest of the month, but I have let this dictate how I live my life.

The more I think about this, the more I realize that I am trying to fully manage my time and resources myself. When its all up to me, I worry about how its all going to work out. This worrying has only increased as I have decided to make car payments on a new vehicle rather than purchase an old car for much less.

Right now I am listening to the song "Take It All" from Third Day's new album coming out the end of July. The lyrics are so fitting for my life now because it speaks of surrendering and giving everything over to God's control instead of mine. I am beginning to realize that the further I go in life, the more I
need to continuously trust in God's provision for me. This not only
applies to money, but also relationships, wisdom, opportunities - they
will all come in His timing.

Take it all because I cant take it any longer
All I have, I cant make it on my own
Take the first, take the last
Take the good and take the rest
Here I am, all I have
Take it all

I'm trying to give it all over. I'm trying to let go of the control I thought I had. This might take a whole lifetime...