Where's that stress ball?

This semester has been so tough for me so far. More than ever before I just feel like I have no extra time - the time i relax i should really be working on something. Especially after coming back from my spring break in Birmingham, Alabama to do Habitat for Humanity, I have felt so apathetic towards school. I am 1 1/2 months away from finishing college and i just cant seem to get the motivation to really put in the effort needed. I understand its important to study and do well in school but I also realize that I only have a few more months left with college friends and then i'm back in Plymouth to rot away. Maybe I'm trying to cram in my entire college experience into one year?

I'm skipping my accounting class right now because I havent finished the project thats supposed to be due for today. I should care more but, in the long run, I just feel like all this stuff is so pointless. I'm almost out - I wont have to do homework again. I'm ready to move on to a career, not fill out some stupid Peachtree accounting software with fictitious crap about a company that doesnt exist! The only good thing about accounting is it provides my father with work.

Oh yeah another thing that is starting to wear me down are my stupid night classes. The only free night I have during the week is usually Tuesdays. Monday is an incredibly boring class and every Wednesday I want to shove a pencil in my eye because I have to sit in the front row and listen to long boring presentations from case studies. AAAhh! stop wasting my time! I'm not upset with Thursday nights because I do enjoy going to the Christian Fellowship on campus, but because I have to play guitar for worship, there is an unneccesary nervousness and stress I have about preparing for and practicing the songs. Even now I'm trying to figure out how I'm gonna have time to finish some of my homework before going back to my room to pick/practice songs and eventually find some time to make myself dinner before I rush out to fellowship.

Six classes a week and working 15 hours each week is combined with the added stress of wondering how in the world I'm gonna pay for my bills each month. I really try not to waste money here, but seriously - it costs money to live and I'm not gonna be that jackass who doesnt want to grab a bite to eat because i'm cheap and boring. My debt to my dad keeps growing which I hate because I know he doesnt have extra money lying around.

I know nobody ever reads this, but I just feel the need to vent right now somewhere/somehow. I go to bed late each night and have to wake up early to finish homework. My mind is starting to stop functioning sooner in the evenings than it did before. After 11:30 my eyes are starting to shut on me and any attempts at productivity are useless. I have this constant feeling of dissatisfaction with who I am as a person and the decisions I am making. I was created to be so much more than I have become.

But for right now I feel like a fish trying to swim upstream. I'm almost done, but I feel like I could break before its all over. I'm wearing very thin and dont know how much more I can take...

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help!
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